My Wish
by BellynnxLoveless
Summary: I drove too fast, as anyone could assume now. I drove too crazy, which is why I ended up here. With tears in my eyes, I drove straight into a telephone pole. Thats how I ended up dead. TRAGIC DASEY.


Sorry guys, I know you're sick of my one shots when I clearly should be updating my other fics.. But.. I can't get this out of my head. Plus, I've already written two updates to "Rasing Dasey"  
Enjoy & review!  
xxoo,Bee.

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**My Wish**

_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
__Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
__You never need to carry more than you can hold,  
__And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
__I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too_

It all started when we were off at college. The first few weeks, we pretended we didn't know each other at all. We didn't have any lectures together, so that wasn't hard at all. Sometimes I pondered excuses to 'accidentally' bump into her at one of the many common areas that Queens had. Somehow, we never ended up in the same place. I never thought I'd miss her that much. I never thought I was humanly capable of missing anyone that much, let along the girl I'd grown to is a funny word when it comes to the girl of topic, hate doesn't exist to her. In fact, the only thing I could honestly tell anyone I hate about her is what she turns me into.

Ignoring each other didn't work. The problem with having only one person who you've known for a while on campus, is that when something happens, they run to you. Thats what she did, ran to me. The asshole she had spent her summer with, the one who from the beginning I knew was a bad idea, had broken her heart. I heard the knock on the door, and my roommate had gotten up to get it. When he'd answered the door, he told the girl she'd gotten the wrong door. Derek Venturi didn't do tears, the guy knew that. He also knew that this girl was one he'd never seen, so if she was crying, it obviously hadn't been because of his friend.

"De..rek" she managed to break out between sobs. I instantly recognized the tearful voice. My heart sank instantly. I was on my feet and at the door before my roommate even had time to look my way.

"Casey" I sighed, taking her into my arms. My roommate, Alex, suddenly 'remembered' that there was somewhere he needed to be. In translation, he hated tears as much as Derek.

I held her while she sobbed, when the water works finally subsided after four five minutes, she looked up at me, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes, which had been coated with eyeliner and mascara as she cried.

"What happened?" I finally braced myself for the anger I was about to feel.

"Everything was going great all summer.." she admitted, her voice still quiet from crying, "I really thought that he was different, that I'd finally found a guy who didn't have those kinds of expectations for a girl.." I bit my tongue. It was about sex. "I was wrong. I told him I wasn't ready, but he was so pushy.." she breathed in, "it took all the strength I had to push him out the door.." she inhaled harshly, I finally started breathing again. He hadn't done it. He'd hurt her, yes. But he hadn't gotten to that point. "I didn't know what to do.. I was going to talk to Trish, but when I went to her door, I could hear them.."

"I'll kill him" I mumbled, my anger getting the best of me.

"No" she stated simply, "he isn't worth it." she promised, laying her head back on my chest. It was an odd feeling, she was the who had just fought off a horny guy, and I was the one who was being comforted?

That was the first night she fell asleep in my arms.

When I look back on it from where I am now, sometimes I wish it'd been the last.

Months began to pass, and Casey had yet again become a very important part of my life. We never made anything official. We never talked about what we felt.

No one on campus knew us as brother and sister, which felt better than anyone could ever know. No one judged how close our relationship had become, no one whispered about our family. We were free.

Freedom only lasts for so long though.

We went on arguing like we had been for years, only now they ended in more kisses, and a lot less slamming of doors. Then the night finally came. The night she gave me herself.

I'd spent almost five years dreaming about this moment, I was a guy after all. I made sure plenty of times that she was really ready, I told her it wouldn't change anything if she wasn't.

That was the last night she fell asleep in my arms.

Even today I don't know why I did what I did. Why I left her. Why even though I wanted nothing more than to wake up next to her, the pain in my stomach was telling me I needed to go. So I left. I didn't call. I ignored her calls. I read the endless emails she'd send asking what she did wrong. I broke her heart in a worse way than any of the other guys could've imagined.

Soon enough things were back to what would seem like normal to anyone who knew the old Derek and Casey.

We didn't speak. We didn't ask about each other to the rest of the family. If by change we saw each other on campus, we looked away and kept walking.

I should've known the last time I'd seen her that something was different.

I'd left my last class of the day, and walking down the stairs of the building I'd noticed her. She didn't see me, which I was thankful for. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, her face clear of all makeup, and what really confused me was her outfit. On any of the girl, a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt two sizes too big wouldn't have phased me. But that wasn't Casey. I walked in the other direction before she noticed my staring. A month later I'd heard through the grapevine of my close knit family that Casey was pregnant.

Her mother asked me to check on her, I told her I didn't have the time and hung up as soon as I could.

Christmas rolled around too soon. Casey was eight and a half months pregnant.

It had been eight and a half months since we'd slept together.

I, very true to my own character, excused myself from the annual family gathering.

I knew that I needed to do something before it was too late, if it wasn't already too late.

I put all of my energy into one holiday gift.

I dropped it off at her dorm, though I got the third degree from her newest roommate, Ridley, who knew of Casey and I's relationship, and who had become her best friend.

Through her glares, she promised that she'd give the package to Casey, but that was after she slapped me across the face with all her might.

I was thankful Casey had found such a good friend.

Casey would be returning home in a week. I paced my dorm for days, it was Christmas Eve when I got the call.

Casey was in labor. Her only request she'd given our parents, was to tell the asshole who knocked her up that his baby was being born.  
She gave them my cell phone number.

After an earful from my father, who was obviously more upset that I had been such an asshole, than about me and Casey being together in the first place, I got in my car and drove.

I drove too fast, as anyone could assume now. I drove too crazy, which is why I ended up here. With tears in my eyes, I drove straight into a telephone pole.

Thats how I ended up dead.

It occurred to me in my last moments alive, as I heard a couple pull over and scream for help, that I'd never hold my child.

I'd never look into the blue eyes of the woman I had loved since I was fifteen again. She would never be mine.

The only bit of hope that I had in the moments of my death, was forgiveness.

I hoped that one day, she would tell my child that I loved their mother. Even if I never told her.

One day she would tell my child that their father was a good man. Even if it wasn't true.

_I got my wish.  
_

_

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_

I heard the news from my hospital bed. Only hours after I had given birth to Annabelle Faith Venturi. I didn't know how to react.

As far as I was concerned, I hated Derek Venturi. I had loved him, I had given everything I could to him, and he had left.

Did I hate him enough to not care when he died? Not by a long shot.

It made it worse when I looked at her. Chocolate brown eyes, her fathers no doubt.

It made it even worse when Ridley had came to London to visit after she'd heard the news of Annabelles early arrival, and Dereks unexpected death.

She brought with her a present. As I unwrapped it a pain shot through me. It was from him.

A photo album. Pictures of them going back from the forced to seem unhappy smile of the high school days, to the night that it ended. Pictures of them smiling, of them kissing, even of her glaring at him from a spot on her bed.

It broke my heart.

There was a note that only said five words at the end.

_"I'm sorry. I love you."_

**One Year Later;**

I stood there, a bouncing one year old in my arms. So, a cemetery wasn't the ideal place to take your daughter on her first birthday. I wasn't the ideal woman.

I looked down at the tombstone thats engravings broke my heart.

_Derek Venturi_

_Beloved son,brother,friend and father._

The last had been added on my account.

As bizarre as it seemed, I began to speak. I had come to this place before, but I couldn't bare to say a word. It was too hard. But now, I had to.

"I love you Derek, I always have and I always will. I forgave you the second I saw your handwriting on that note." I promised him, letting tears fall from my face as I sat down on the grace, placing Anna in my lap. "She'll always know that you love her too. You may not have even saw her, but I know you love her. I know you watch her." I placed the flowers on his grave, "forever Venturi. You better save me a spot up there"

"Dada?" Annabella questioned, looking to me and then to the flowers by the marble stone.

I smiled, wrapping her up in my arms.

"Daddy will always be here" I promised her, and I knew it to be the truth.

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The format was a little messed up.. and I know it was a tad depressing.  
Review anyways?

:)


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